5G Earth Day, 2021, April Fool’s Day!
Good Day, I’m Medusa Banana!
I want to welcome you all to the 5G Earth Day 2021 Celebration!
“Will 5G save our planet? With the 5G network, climate change technologies, and smart energy grids, we could monitor and manage our energy consumption more effectively, keeping our planet happier. 5G offer the tools to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. ”
”Digital technology may be our most powerful tool to tackle climate change. With 2021 showing digitalization can be rapidly accelerated, the same will be true with CO2 reductions. 5G opens up these new opportunities – especially with outsourcing our resource extraction on the moon, Mars and other planets, and 5G rockets polluting the ozone layer.”
Meet Our 5G Solutions Marketing Team
Here on the 5G Marketing Team – We don’t have an easy job, what with all this fuss about 5G.
When you see the 5G logo everywhere, think the future of our planet, and the Fourth industrial revolution!
Don’t worry about the natural habitats we’re destroying, and especially not 5G’s contribution to climate change. The fact is that the world needs 5G, and this is simply the price of progress.
Welcome to the Wonderful 5G ECOSYSTEM!
Is it ironic that Earth Day is addressing climate change, by promoting massive increases in 5G infrastructure and 5G energy consumption? But the wireless ecosystem is truly committed to delivering memes, cat videos, and Tik-Toks of nature, to everyone, everywhere, anytime, at lightning fast speeds with reduced latency!
For example, “Sir David Attenborough is set to bring his iconic storytelling to people’s smartphones through an augmented reality (AR) app inspired by the BBC’s forthcoming five-part documentary series, The Green Planet. The interactive app will enable users to see ‘holographic’ video of Attenborough alongside plants and animals in their surroundings.” “This cutting-edge app, fronted by broadcasting legend Sir David Attenborough, is set to be an inspiring example of how new technology can reconnect us with the natural world whilst demonstrating the power of 5G to a huge new audience,” said Matt Warman, Minister for Digital Infrastructure.”
The pollution of earth and space does not pose a threat to human civilization, as 5G provides infinite solutions. We see 5G on earth and in space as a business opportunity. (Think interconnected adult diapers and energy drinks for addicted inter-planetary gamers en route to Mars!) “In a fast-paced world where we can’t press pause in life or business, 5G offers a much needed boost.”
Precaution and environmental reviews are an unnecessary impediment. After all, there are millions of mineral resources waiting to be mined, and celestial bodies to be owned….er… I mean, explored!
Some say it’s the end of the fossil fuel age – but we say it’s just the beginning of something even better, the Galactic Nuclear Age, with nuclear power on the moon, to surely gain dominion over earth and space, and to win the race to 5G.
Although 5G requires $$$ billions in government subsidies, 5G will bridge the digital divide, by providing wireless internet access to every person and thing (including connected diapers) on every square inch of earth and beyond.
We’d like to thank the International Commission on Non-ionizing Radiation Protection (ICNIRP) and Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE) their cronies, (I mean colleagues!), and other captured agencies and regulators, for making our job so much easier, with low latency lightning speed!
Special thanks to tech titans and their quest for riches, while competing for the Heavens. Building the Tower of Babel pales next to your achievements! Never missing an opportunity, you showed resiliency and resourcefulness during this epidemic by “providing services,” (while adding $$$931billion in earnings) while so many others were financially devastated from economic collapse. Because “….blistering speeds of 5G can put some rocket fuel in our economy and help businesses bounce back from the pandemic.”
Beginning April 5th, we’ll be counting down to Earth Day 2021, DISCERNMENT REQUIRED! Read Natural Blaze! And Happy April Fool’s Day! Wink, Wink!
Thank you all for reading and we hope you enjoy the amazing promise of 5G.
Lots of love, Medusa Banana, No Rights Reserved with 5G
Greenwashing of 5G Team slides courtesy Greenwash Tech, No Rights Reserved with 5G
NOTE: Adapted with permission. See the original video of Joshua Hart, of Stop Smart Meters, speaking at the Bristol UK Museum in 2007 against Shell Oil Corporation for sponsoring the Wildlife Photographer of the Year Awards, which they no longer do: https://onthelevelblog.wordpress.com/2007/12/16/direct-action-in-bristol-reveals-shells-greenwash/
Medusa Banana created by Flo Freshman